Tuesday, October 21, 2014

FEARLESS: Dealing With Bullies

Responding to a request for bully ideas from last evening's FEARLESS meeting:

The topic was how to deal with the neighborhood bully, and with bullies in general. What follows is a quick summary of a few things that were shared. Because the author of this post had to leave early, others who attended are invited to comment in order to elaborate upon, clarify or add to what is presented here:

1. Be classy. You have paid your debt to society. You are a good citizen and a good neighbor, and your neighbors are going to recognize this. It might take some longer than others, but they'll come around. At the very least, they'll avoid you.

2. Cooly inform. Share the facts: Registered Citizens typically are not dangerous. The danger lies elsewhere, usually not on the state's public-shaming website. Sometimes you have to make it simple, as if you are speaking to a child. Some bullies are ... well ... slow.

3. Stand up for yourself. The worst mistake you ever made in your life is none of anyone else's business unless you choose to talk about it. Do not be violent or illegally aggressive, but let the bully know you're going to fight back. Bullies pick on targets where they think they're sure to "win." Don't be an inviting target.

4. Sometimes, the biggest bully is in your imagination. Our culture's shame-based manner of dealing with sexual offending makes it difficult not to see everything through the SO lens. A bit of reflection on whether you're actually being picked on, or whether you're just making stuff up because you're frightened, can bring peace to you.


  1. Thank you so much for your response to my query. I tried to figure which of the
    four listed was the most important, but now see them all equally of import. I am
    going to memorize them and have them at my fingertips should I need them.
    My bully is indeed 'slow'. And I am being picked on as I've called the cops
    numerous times, and not for useless things, but because I am being harrassed.
    I am very appreciative of your response and very, very grateful. Thanks so
    much for taking the time to respond to my query.

  2. Today my bully mowed his lawn and each time he turned his mower around
    he sang a chorus of some old song using only the word 'paedophile' as
    the tune progressed. I was sitting in my back yard reading. This is a
    constant with him. I did not react.


Healthy debate and the exchange of ideas are encouraged. Keep your comments clean and respectful. No personal attacks will be allowed.